Sunday, 19 September 2010

Apple Retail Stories: The most ridiculous cases of life enrichment

The lows Apple will stoop to in order avoid a detractor is absolutely disgusting. One of the worst things about working there is watching the customers who are the biggest cunts of them all, get more than they asked for. So many of us have seen managers take 'Enriching lives' to stupid degrees, I honestly don't think even Steve would be proud. I hope this doesn't inspire marginal wankers to come into store and give the Family Room hell, but fuck it, I've got some horrible stories that should have never happened.

We'll look at some of the most ridiculous cases here, starting with a story from The Preacher Man:

Guy brings his machine in, not sure whether he bought it from us or not, doesn't really make much difference as the slime-ball manager would have done this either way, KICKING off because something is not right with it and demands to my slimey manager that we replace his machine, all spec'ed up. Obviously it's an old model, and we can't do that anyway, so the MANAGER returns the computer at POS, and uses the money to buy the customer a brand new machine on EPP1!!! CTO, APP the lot. But wait it get's better, he then DELIVERS the machine to the fucking guy's house in person. Un-fucking-believable.

Jesus H Christ. Gonna be hard to top that. Definitely breaking P&P there, but it's a manager so it's alright.

You'll never fucking believe this one. CraponGenius says:

One of my co-workers had an iPhone 3GS just out of warranty with sound issues, now normally if a customer was to come in with this issue they would the phone swapped straight away....without proper triaging (thanks to the brown-que and 10min appointments). Seeing as he works for Apple management he decided it was not fair for him to have his phone serviced with no cost! 
A couple of weeks later a situation occurred with customer who (and im not making this up!) came in with an iPhone issue, something along the lines of needing the phone swapped but needing her data (which she had not backed up...obviously, seeing as its so hard to follow the online instructions when booking a damn appointment) and ended up walking away with a new phone and a FREE MacBook! 
WTF is going on in this company that could justify an iPhone issue being resolved by giving away a fucking Mac?! While we destroy our souls only to be refused the same service?!

My co-worker found out about this and complained, eventually getting his phone serviced.

Beautiful little anecdote of what seems to encapsulate apple's bullshit quote of "our people are our soul"

Email in stories from your store where Enriching Lives has been taken waaaay too far. The worst will be shared with the world.