Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Store Meetings

A typical store meeting for employees.
"Hey team, there's a store meeting this Sunday. Everyone should attend unless you have pre-booked holiday"

No worries, I'll just come in at 8 a.m on my day off, on the day of rest to be brainwashed, yeah that'll happen.

Here's a list of things you're guaranteed to see at a store meeting:

1. Managers justifying bullshit, 'thanking' you for working so hard for their bonuses without mentioning bonuses.
2. Ron Johnson's face (on video of course).
3. Apple employees sighing and muttering shit under their breath.
4. Managers not working that day showing off their expensive day-off clothes.
5. Lots of figures.
6. At least one technical hiccup (usually involving volume, Genius Bar screens or Keynote issues).
7. Low morale (standard).
8. Only half the Genius Team.