Monday, 24 May 2010

Credo Card


Every employee gets a little booklet of lies, the biggest one being:

"At Apple, our most important resource, our soul, is our people."

Is that why managers will always believe the customer first? Or why anyone instore who can swap an iPhone is worked to the fucking bone? Or why all the staff feel so unappreciated?

I found this the other day:

Is this a page from the new credo card?


The iPhone AppStore myth

    A ridiculous race is going on in the world of smartphones, with each competitor boasting about the number of available apps for his platform. Apple is talking about 200.000 apps, similar to Symbian and probably what Palm used to offer in earlier years. As a software developer and user I'm having a hard time believing the programming upsurge Apple is talking about. It is high time to debunk the app numbers craze as a high number of apps reflects the shortcomings of a platform as much as its mass market success. 

    This article mainly looks at the iPhone AppStore (and you should too), however it looks like the beginning of a trend as the situation with Android is quite similar; we'll just have to wait and see what Microsoft & WinMo are going to do.
    One in six apps in the iPhone AppStore is an eBook. “Jane Eyre” alone is available through over a hundred apps. How ridiculous is this? Taking an eBook and packing it into an app? 36.000 books as individual apps?
On "older" platforms as well a on your PC or MAC you get good e-book readers, then you simply download whatever free e-book you want. Yes, no paid eBooks (no DRM) yet, but 30.000 eBooks alone from Project Gutenberg, downloadable through the default browser. However due to the well known censorship such applications usually never find their way into the AppStore (see Eucalyptus). To this you can surely add another 16.000 audiobooks since yet again a simple audiobook player would really hurt the numbers and it's easier to install and uninstall apps than to copy and delete an mp3 file... right!

   One in six apps is a game. Some of them are absolutely fantastic, innovative and close to the PSP ones regarding graphics(control is another story) while most many others are imitations, variant 283 of Tetris or Bejeweled, crude mini-games, free, lite and full versions of the same game, and quite often Flash or old JAVA games ported and rebranded. Unfortunately in this situation independent companies and studios (eg. not EA games) have no chance of ever getting noticed or downloaded. My collection of nice 3D games sums up to roughly a dozen - heck, even a good variant of Tetris is hard to find!

Well, if you consider a platform that has:
  • e-book readers
  • flash support

Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Store Meetings



A typical store meeting for employees.
"Hey team, there's a store meeting this Sunday. Everyone should attend unless you have pre-booked holiday"

No worries, I'll just come in at 8 a.m on my day off, on the day of rest to be brainwashed, yeah that'll happen.

Here's a list of things you're guaranteed to see at a store meeting:

1. Managers justifying bullshit, 'thanking' you for working so hard for their bonuses without mentioning bonuses.
2. Ron Johnson's face (on video of course).
3. Apple employees sighing and muttering shit under their breath.
4. Managers not working that day showing off their expensive day-off clothes.
5. Lots of figures.
6. At least one technical hiccup (usually involving volume, Genius Bar screens or Keynote issues).
7. Low morale (standard).
8. Only half the Genius Team.

Enjoy.

Apple vs. human rights - How unaware are you?

                                             
Eight suicide attempts seen at iPhone manufacturer in Q1 2010
 
     Already 8 new suicide attempts among the iPhone manufacturers at Foxconn in Cina in 2010. Six attempts have been successful. Its most publicized such death came in 2009 when a worker, Sun Danyong, 25, jumped off his dormitory roof after losing one device out of a set of iPhone prototypes
     Sure losing one iPhone prototype might not strike you as a big deal... well China is one big place where Apple goons can enforce company policy on  employees without being mediatized - or so they thought.


      According to the reports, Sun was given 16 prototypes by his superior. A few days later, Sun could account only 15 of them and reported about the missing iPhone to his higher-ups on July 13th. It is alleged that some Apple security employees searched Danyong’s apartment illegally, detained and even physically abused Sun.
     Going back on this old story(2009) makes no sense since a lot has been written about the first uncovered iPhone suicide and instead of repeating all this I’d rather like to refer you to Perspective on the iPhone Suicide, written by Jason Chen (the guy in who's house Apple just broke in to - great coincidence) on Gizmodo. 

      However if you live in the US, where the press has every company under a spyglass 24/7 and your work place does not resemble to a concentration camp, you can afford to play drama queen:  
Gray Powell's father: 'He was devastated'.

      So yes, it's ok to lose the million dollar prototype while you're getting drunk as long as you are a fat f*ck with an US citizenship. Take care Gary, people get run over by cars, mugged and shot in dark alleys for a fistful of bucks every day and get "devastated" for good; we wouldn't want for something bad to come to you, if you get our drift.

      But as Apple never forgets, and the same Jason Chen had "the luck" of recovering the lost iPhone for no less than 5000 US dollars, returning it was useless as Apple declared the prototype stolen. The San Mateo police reached the front door of Gizmodo's editor and blasted through it with an illegal search warrant, as part of the investigation, and took three MacBooks, one iPad, one iPhone, three external USB drives, Motorola A855, IBM ThinkPad, two Dell desktop PCs, HP MediaSmart server, two digital cameras, three USB sticks and more.
      According to Gawker Media the search warrant is invalid, because the Californian law protects the journalist's source. But we guess Apple probably used a tiny little trick called bribery to go above the law and find the guy who found the prototype and get even with Gizmodo since unlike Engadget.com and GSMArena(more like AppleArena), they are one of the few technology sites that wasn't "bought" by Apple... yet.
     But wait! This doesn't just end here!

Staff discount on APP

    Working for Apple, you will quickly realize that the products are in fact, not akin to the second coming of Jesus Christ but will break like any other mass produced cheap Chinese shit. So to keep the staff happy, you'd expect the discount to extend our warranties would be pretty reasonable right? Maybe even free? Wrong.

    When you can easily pick up AppleCare on eBay for less than half price, it probably means some rich corporate prick at Apple, who has never considered APP because they get a new machine for free, is taking the piss.